What Makes A Great Girlfriend?
I have a confession to make. As a single man, playing the field can be more fun than watching Aretha Franklin try to see her feet (It’s been a while.) The unbalanced male-to-female ratio plays a huge role in that mindset. But as maturity sets in, real men begin to realize that while fooling around is cool, nothing can surpass the joys of being in a serious relationship.
Let me rephrase that.
Nothing can surpass the joys of being in a serious relationship with a great girlfriend. So I began to wonder … exactly what is it that makes someone a great girlfriend?
Besides possessing the obvious attributes of being faithful and honest, I’ve come up with 5 Key Traits Of A Great Girlfriend.
#1- She’s Independent
This trait gets a tremendous amount of negative publicity from some single women. Apparently there’s a widespread misconception that most men don’t want an independent woman. Well that’s more off base than the time Jessica Simpson thought The Gap Band was an alternative to getting braces.
A real man appreciates when his girlfriend has her own personality and opinions, and can stand on her own both financially and emotionally. That’s a true turn-on, as the relationship begins to feel much more like an equal partnership.
(Note: Embrace your independence, but don’t use it as a badge of honor … that’s when it stops being a positive trait.)
#2- She’s Intelligent
Having someone that’s beautiful but dumb gets old about as fast as Samuel L. Jackson yelling in all of his movies. That’s why it’s great to have a girlfriend that can meet you on an intellectual level. Her wit and intellect keep you on your toes, and deepens your attraction past the physical realm … making it another great quality for a girlfriend.
#3- She Allows You To Be A Man
A great girlfriend understands that men and women are intrinsically different, and allows you to be who you are…a man. Which means she won’t force you to start using pink and lavender toilet tissue, or sit through a “Desperate Housewives” marathon. A great girlfriend also doesn’t get bent out of shape when her man tries to do “guy things” like watch the game or occasionally hang out with his friends.
#4- She Loves You
On the surface, such a trait would seem like a given. But allow me to dig even deeper than Michael Jackson’s pile of unpaid bills. A great girlfriend loves her man…flaws and all. To her, it’s okay that he isn’t the best dresser, or that his jokes fall flatter than Arsenio Hall’s career. She just loves him for him, and takes the time to show him how much she appreciates him each day.
#5- She Makes You Strive To Better Yourself
This may be my favorite one of all. A great girlfriend inspires you to improve yourself without even saying anything. Just being around her makes you want to better yourself. Suddenly you begin to get your finances in order, you start treating people better … you even clip your toenails on a consistent basis. And that’s all because of your great girlfriend. She just has that kind of effect on you.
The Fly Guy Moral: So there’s my list. If you’re current girlfriend possesses those traits, then I’d say you were in great shape. If she doesn’t…well, I’ll keep you in my prayers.
**To read more from The Fly Guy, visit The Fly Guy Chronicles
I know how hard it is to be a black female in today's society. If you're a woman, you face racism and sexism in order to get ahead in your career; dismal statistics abound regarding your love life and likelihood to marry; images surrounding you suggest that your beauty is not revered; add to that the stress of being an entrepreneur, wife, mother, sister or daughter. Some of you throw social organizations, church and volunteering into the mix. No wonder that a sistah is sometimes tired!
The situation for our girls is just as bleak. They're growing up in an era where music videos and big budget films help them to assign their self-worth. They must aim high in school, in sports, and in life in ways that the information age has made decidedly different than our upbringings. On top of that, they may see the struggles of their mother and big sisters and come to feel that this is also their legacy.
I am like you. I know what it is to carry around these burdens daily. I also feel the sting of sometimes feeling 'not thin enough', not privileged enough or just plain not enough. One thing that we do have, however, is each other.
This is a place for us. Sure, there are other blogs that address the black female experience in America. But what's one more voice on our side? There can never be too many avenues of support for our dreams, our efforts and our future. That's what this blog is all about. Together, let's step outside of the constraints that mainstream society has placed on us, and highlight our own beauty, accomplishments, intellect and vision. After all, if we don't do it, it will never get done.
