I feel that this blog will evolve into more than just an off-shoot of BlackGirlTees.com. To that effect, I've created a new blog, Chocolate Femininity, that will reflect my thoughts on African American women and girls. Please visit me there, and add me to your blog reader and bookmarks!!
http://blackwomenandgirls.blogspot.com/
http://www.spokesman-recorder.com/news/article/article.asp?NewsID=90758&sID=13&ItemSource=L
Get married! Matrimony the key to ending cycle of Black poverty
by Don Samuels
Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder
Originally posted 8/27/2008
You rarely see a wedding on a Saturday morning on the North Side. This was not always the case. In the mid 1960s, only 25 percent of all U.S. Black children were born to single moms. Today, in Minneapolis, that number is 86.6 percent. On the other hand, only 30 percent of White children are born to single parents. This disparity is directly related to the entrenchment of poverty in our community.
The children of single parents are at a decided disadvantage, more so if that family is Black. Fifty percent of Black children born in poverty will remain poor, compared to only 39 percent of whites. On the other hand, children of married parents are more likely to graduate and less likely to go to jail, do drugs, or otherwise fail at life.
Children are happiest when raised by two committed parents. As the sole parent of a now 32-year-old son and a co parent of girls ages nine and seven, I have experienced both alternatives firsthand. Today my son is a fully functional adult, but there is no doubt that my job as parent and his as son were made more challenging because I was single.
Both parents should maintain contact and care for their child even when they are separated. This is the right thing to do for a healthy and happy community. Young people should begin to think about meeting someone, falling in love, getting married, and having children — in that order.
Young women should insist that young men make the ultimate commitment to a relationship, marriage, before they produce the ultimate outcome of a relationship, a child.
In addition, young men must be courageous. They must battle their fears of permanency for the sake of the children produced by the millions of tiny, indiscriminate sperm cells they produce and share.
Marriage means you can’t just leave easily. As men we commit to a car, a career, a football team, and even a blood family; yet they all give us headaches and are often out of our control. We must learn to do the same for our women and children.
Too often, absentee fathers drift out of relationships with their children and become simply sperm donors. Children blame themselves for the abandonment of their parents. They think there is something fundamentally wrong with them that makes them unlovable and disposable. Many spend their adulthood battling the emotional repercussions.
Ultimately, children of single parents have less confidence as partners, as spouses and as co-parents. They lack examples of domestic partnership, negotiation, compromise and cooperation. They have to learn everything secondhand and experience frequent confusion in relationships.
Life as a single mother is most often lonely. There is no abiding presence with whom to share the ongoing defeats and triumphs of parenting. There is often nobody to give the parent a psychic break from decision-making and stress.
A marriage proposal is the most affirming and progressive gift a positive man can give to the woman he loves. When a man is permanently in a home, everyone feels secure.
Black women want to get married and have children. Well over 40 percent of Black women have never been married; that’s twice as many as White women. There are a million eligible Black women who are not married.
The loss of this normal expectation adds yet another misery factor to the lives of the women who have already shouldered the greatest sexual inequities in our country’s history.
Black men should begin to work hard in school and in the workplace. Those with setbacks must strive to rehabilitate ourselves, preparing to be worthy husbands and fathers.
Chris Rock says Black men have been exercising their options to date and marry across races for years. He suggests it’s time Black women do the same. Openness to interracial marriage might be one key solution to the drought of eligible Black men. It is time to end the routine deficiency of single parenting.
Don Samuels is the Minneapolis Fifth Ward city council member. He welcomes reader responses to Don.Samuels@ci.minneapolis.mn.us.
More African American Women Connecting Online For Business Building
The growth of one online community for Black women professionals supports research that women are the fastest growing entrepreneurs.
Columbus, OH (PRWEB) August 26, 2008 -- Research studies continue to indicate that Black women are one of the fastest growing groups of entrepreneurs and business owners. Not only that, they are also more likely to survive their first 5 years in business than many other groups.
Such tenacity is reflected in the continuous growth of the recently launched BlackWomenConnect.com -- the largest social network for professional African American women. Free to join, this unique online community has thousands of active members that use the site as a central point for business networking, career building, and professional unity.
The functionality of BlackWomenConnect.com is similar to that of LinkedIn, FaceBook, Plaxo, and others. Users can meet and interact with each other, post news and blogs, upload videos, promote their upcoming events, and even participate in forums.
"This is the only site that allows women entrepreneurs to interact with each other as if they were in the same room. Women are on there as we speak, closing deals and making transactions," says Dante Lee, co-founder of the site. "There is no other space online like this for this group."
The site, along with many others, is produced by Lee Moss Media, a joint venture between Dante Lee of Diversity City Media and William Moss of HBCU Connect. The two are on a mission to build the largest network of premium African American web sites.
For more details and/or to join the site for free, visit:http://www.BlackWomenConnect.com
How does this make sense? This election is about shattering stereotypes. How does a group of black journalists and social commentators, doing the snake down the red carpet, support that endeavor??
Come on now, people..
By M.R. KROPKO – 4 hours ago
She switched her backing to Sen. Barack Obama in June, but said he could not win unless Clinton's supporters rallied behind him. She also said Obama should consider Clinton as a running mate.
"It wasn't enough for her just to break barriers in her own life. She was also determined to bring opportunity to all those who had been overlooked and left behind — and in Stephanie, they had a fearless friend and unyielding advocate," Obama said in a statement.
"I wanted somebody whom I felt could carry on what I tried to do for 30 years in that congressional district," Stokes said. "She did it. She took it to a higher level, a new level. She made me so proud."
Jasmyne Cannick has written a story on an upcoming movie release that I find interesting.
I agree with some of Jasmyne's viewpoints and disagree with others. I agree with her that Hollywood couldn't give two shakes about the history of blackface or how Robert Downey Jr's portrayal will affect us as black women (and black people in general). But she states that "there won’t be any movies opening anytime soon that poke fun at or mimic their experience or their people." Um, Jas, have you seen
She also says "when it comes to Hollywood, the history of Black people in this country, and our image as a people, it’s like, “how much money do you need and how fast can you get the film done?” I would be on my high horse, and ready to protest Tropic Thunder similarly, if it weren't for the fact that black people support coonery also. How many black people saw Soul Plane, The Nutty Professor, Meet the Klumps, Norbitt, etc? Those movies aren't being remade because black people boycott them, or they don't make money. Yes, theoretically, those types of movies could still be financial boons because of white audiences... but if there were no black support and a collective boycott against them, then they wouldn't fly. Hollywood doesn't care about political issues, racial sensitivity or women's rights -- it cares about box office sales. So if we want to see better, then we should do better.
I also look at Cannick's opinions as flawed, because this analysis was sparked by negative images of a 'black' man. How loud is the silence, when, black women are denigrated in film? How loud is the silence, when, roles that should be played by black women are given to women of other races? Yet it only seems to matter when black men are slighted. I take issue with the perception that the image of the black man is the image of black America. While I'm black, my issues, my image and the stereotypes surrounding my experience are uniquely different from that of the black man. We have shared experiences based on skin color, but brothas don't know what its like to be a woman or to be discriminated against because of your skin shade or hair texture (and the fact that its mostly black men perpetuating colorism, but I won't go there today). And the fact remains that black men are working to destroy their own images -- by having children out of wedlock, my committing black-on-black crime, and by selling drugs. Those are things that don't need blackface to make them look bad.
Cannick ends by saying:
If you still want to see Tropic Thunder, might I suggest a trip to your local
neighborhood swapmeet, where more often than not there’ll be a brother out front
ready to sell you a copy of Tropic Thunder for the ultra low price of $5.
I mean I figure if Robert Downey Jr. is going to get paid for a role that could
have easily been given to a Black actor, somebody Black ought to get paid, so
why not your local bootlegger. I’m just saying it’s a good way to stick it
to the industry and help a brotha out.
I can't condone protesting a movie by supporting illegal activities. How about we not go see the movie, period? Or, we tell 1-2 white coworkers why this movie stinks. Or, start a letter-writing campaign to Dreamworks execs, or or or.. but 'helping a brotha out' isn't really going to get us anywhere. Because, truth be told, ignorance is already bootlegged, and the movie studios are still getting paid. How about we start putting our money where our mouths are, and try to effect positive change in the film industry.
I feel like I am in an eye of a hurricane. Lately I've been browsing news stories about black women and girls to post to this blog. It seems like everything I come across is negative: black women have these ailments, this marriage rate, this rate of higher education, etc. I've been hesitant to post about any of it, because I know we've 'heard it all before'. That's not to say that these statistics aren't newsworthy; they are. But today I choose not to perpetuate their discussion.
We as black women in America have so many positive aspects at work in our favor - regardless of what the media tells us. The title of this post is 'Black Women Are Beautiful', and we are. I know I repeat that sentiment alot, but I really and truly believe that. At the core of this statement is a belief in the value, worthiness and substance of our beings. I don't feel that most of us know our worth, celebrate who we are or do enough to uplift our fellow sisters. Quite frankly, sometimes that's hard to do. Between your 9-5, family commitments, just trying to make ends meet, it can be difficult to squeeze together moments of bliss. But if we can just grab one moment for ourselves, on a daily basis, I think that we will improve our inner beings as well as those we touch. In my personal spiritual life, finding happiness is a priority I continually strive for. I'm not advocating that you follow my path, but I am promoting that we take better care of our minds, bodies, children, and those we love. That we step back a moment from what people want us to be, and we embrace the desires that we want for ourselves.
Like I said, I know that's not always easy.. but it is a worthwhile endeavor nonetheless. And we definitely deserve it, each and every one of us.
(CNN) -- Comic actor Bernie Mac died early Saturday of complications from pneumonia, according to a family member and his publicist. He was 50.
Bernie Mac, 50, had been hospitalized in his hometown, Chicago, with pneumonia.
He had been hospitalized in Chicago, Illinois, for more than a week with the lung infection.
Danica Smith, the comedian's publicist, had said Thursday that Mac's condition was "stable," The Associated Press reported.
"When I got the call this morning, it was just devastating news," said Chicago Sun-Times columnist Stella Foster. "Let's face it: Bernie Mac was one of a kind. He was the best of the best in terms of giving you a good laugh."
Smith previously said the pneumonia wasn't related to sarcoidosis, a lung disease Mac had, which had been in remission since 2005, according to AP.
Mac caused a stir in July with some jokes he made during a fundraiser for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, AP reported.
Mac -- born Bernard Jeffrey McCollough -- starred in the Fox television series "The Bernie Mac Show." His film roles included the "Ocean's Eleven" series, "Friday," "Get on the Bus," "Transformers" and "Bad Santa."My condolences to the McCullough family; Mac will truly be missed.
I agreed with alot of what Monica said.. why is being Black an issue? Why must it be examined? Its not a disease, cultural phenomena or monolith. We are colored the same (or similarly) but we have a myriad of experiences.
Here's the trailer for the Princess and the Frog, Disney's first cartoon with an African-American heroine.
July 24, 2008
As part of its ongoing efforts to educate area residents about mental health and social-emotional wellness, the Evanston-based Mental Health Association of the North Shore sponsors an essay contest for young adults.
First prize of $750 went to Sarah Wagener of Lake Forest High School.
Over the past century the media has been able to shape the view of women, particularly the African-American woman.
Not to toot my own horn here, but the awareness and analysis behind this essay is what Black Girl Tees is all about. If I never made a dime from this project, I would still walk away happy and excited that our girls and women implicitly know their worth, their beauty, and don't fall for popular culture's propaganda about us. We are so much more than video vixens and angry black women, as the media would have us to believe. But if we don't believe that for ourselves, then we are doomed to become the stereotype that we are labeled as.
Let's not sit idly by while that happens. Let's applaud Brigitte Viard and girls like her; and let's help other girls, and our beautiful sistahs, to know that their individual and collective worth is valued among rubies.
JULY 23, 2008
Why it's worth reading and re-reading the great Toni Morrison
By CONSUELA FRANCIS
Long before Barack Obama forced us to re-think race, Toni morrison said it matters when it matters, it doesn't when it doesn'tRecently a friend e-mailed me with a confession. He's never finished a Toni Morrison novel. I'd e-mailed him about Morrison's upcoming reading and went on and on about my favorite novel (Song of Solomon), all the while assuming that he knew as much about the novels as I did. He didn't. He owns all of the books and started several of them more than once. But he hasn't been able to make it through them. He said they were too hard.
I've heard this before, that Morrison is a great writer (they know because everyone says so), but they are intimidated by her prose. The non-linear structure of the novels, and the literary allusions and African-American history and folklore that often form the backbone of the novels, can sometimes be confounding, even to those who consider themselves experienced readers.
Morrison once said, "I don't want to give my readers something to swallow. I want to give them something to feel and think about." She doesn't want to give us something that's easily put aside. Instead, she gives us novels that stay with us, that reward slow reading, re-reading, and persistent reading. As I told my friend, the problem isn't that Morrison's books are too hard. The problem is that he gave up too easily. He should have persisted with each novel, and when finished, he should read them again.
The first time I read Morrison's first novel, The Bluest Eye, I was a college junior. I'd never read Morrison before and didn't know what to expect. The story of Pecola Breedlove, a little black girl who believes she's ugly and prays for blue eyes to make her pretty, was like nothing I'd read before. It remains for me the single best expression of what it means to grow up nappy in a world full of blow dryers (to borrow a phrase from Nelson George).
The next time I read The Bluest Eye, I was in graduate school, and learning words like "intertextuality," "heteroglossia," and "metanarrative." While I was still moved by Pecola's pain, I was struck more this time by how beautifully Morrison described that pain. One of the reasons, perhaps the chief reason, we can read a novel about a little girl who is raped and impregnated by her father and then abandoned by her community is that Morrison's exquisite language, her incredible skill, softens the blow, not a lot, but enough to make it through.
When I taught The Bluest Eye for the first time, the violence of the book stood out to me. While the literature professor in me could see and appreciate Morrison's craft, could appreciate the book for its themes, I wasn't sure my students would feel the same way. Would they love this book as I had come to, or would they be turned off by the horrible things that happen to Pecola? As it turns out, every time I teach the novel, I am amazed by how much students like it. We get into great arguments about whether to sympathize with Cholly, Pecola's father. We discuss ways the culture continues to tell little black girls they are ugly.
The last time I read The Bluest Eye was in preparation for a program I help run that partners ninth-grade girls from Burke High School with College of Charleston students to work on various self-expression projects. This spring the Burke students read and then wrote essays inspired by The Bluest Eye. I was worried a story about rape and incest may be too intense for 14- and 15-year-old girls, and I wondered whether Pecola's grief about being a black girl in a world that loved blue eyes would still resonate.
The students' essays were amazing. They wrote letters to Pecola, expressing their grief about what happened to her and offering advice. They wrote wonderful fierce declarations of their own beauty and worth. They wrote essays about finding the novel difficult at first, but being happy they stuck with it.
It's been 15 years since Morrison won the Nobel Prize and five years since her last novel. Recently, Morrison has been more famous thanks to Oprah and for infamously declaring Bill Clinton the first black president. Perhaps with her new novel, A Mercy, we will be reminded of why she is regularly called our greatest living American writer. Long before a historic presidential primary forced us to re-think how race works in America, Morrison was already giving us hints in her novels — it matters when it matters, and it doesn't when it doesn't.
And while that may sound flip or too simplistic to be true, consider novels like Song of Solomon and Paradise. In these novels, we find worlds shaped by the history of racism and racial tension, but they are also worlds in which race doesn't even make the top 10 list of things to worry about. Consider Sula in which the lines between right and wrong and good and bad all but disappear, and Morrison challenges us to think about how we decide when someone is worth our compassion.
Morrison was once asked whom she wrote for. She answered, "I want to write for people like me, which is to say black people, curious people, demanding people — people who can't be faked, people who don't need to be patronized, people who have very, very high criteria." The ultimate reward for getting through a Morrison novel is knowing that you are one of these people.
Morrison is, hands down, my favorite writer; Song of Solomon is my favorite Morrison book, followed by Sula. We both share and admiration and love for Flannery O'Connor's and William Faulkner's works. Her prose is so lyrical, so vivid, emotional, stark, intimate... she turns southern grotesque into Morrison grotesque. If you're not a fan, I really can't describe it. If I'm working on a piece, or my novel (when I'm not suffering from writer's block, or busy with numerous projects), I can't read Morrison then. Having her words in my head will not allow my own voice to come forward. Her work invites comparison and the knowledge that you will never, ever, measure up.
I will definitely read A Mercy in November. I guess I should dust off Love in the meantime.. like the author's friend, there are several Morrison novels I have yet to read: Love, Tar Baby, Jazz, Paradise.
When Disney announced it was casting its first black princess for its latest animation film, the African-American heroine was hailed as a positive role model for little girls and an ambitious marketing ploy, not to mention an attempt to ward off the allegations of racism that have lurked since the heyday of Walt Disney Productions in the 1940s and 1950s.But now the film studio finds itself fending off a chorus of accusations of racial stereotyping in its forthcoming big-budget cartoon, The Princess and The Frog: An American Fairy Tale, which marks a return to hand-drawn animation.
The heroine has been recast as Tiana, a 19-year-old in a country that has never had a monarchy. She is now slated to live "happily ever after" with a handsome fellow who is not black – with leaks suggesting that he will be of Middle Eastern heritage and called Naveen. The race of the villain in the cartoon is reported to have also been revised.
The film studio began making changes a year ago, first to its title, The Frog Princess, which some had interpreted as a slur. Amendments to the plot followed.
Rodney Hinds, features editor of The Voice newspaper, said: "We are talking about a big company who has had to go back to the drawing board. It's disappointing... Some of the stereotyping of people from our community is still rigid in people's minds. We have our own dreams and stories like everyone else, and we want them to be portrayed positively. This is about how people are perceived and a princess is normally a positive character who most people aspire to."
Disney commented: "The story takes place in the charming elegance and grandeur of New Orleans' fabled French Quarter during the Jazz Age... Princess Tiana will be a heroine in the great tradition of Disney's rich animated fairy tale legacy, and all other characters and aspects of the story will be treated with the greatest respect and sensitivity."
Disney's efforts to be multicultural have not always gone according to plan. In 1993, there were protests from Muslims who said the animated film Aladdin depicted the Middle East as barbaric. One lyric included with the line: "I come from a land, from a faraway place, where the caravan camels roam, where they cut off your ear if they don't like your face; it's barbaric, but hey, it's home."
July 10, 2008. You knew that some rappers were ignorant ... but this is just too much. MediaTakeOut.com just caught wind that during a recent interview on the radip show Lip Sevice, rapper Young Berg claimed that he's not into dark skinned black women - or dark butts as he calls them.Here's a transcript of his words:
I'm kinda racist ... I don't like dark butts .... You know how some women
prefer light skin men or dark skin men. It's rare that I do dark butts - that's
what I call dark skinned women ... I [don't date women] darker than me.I love the pool test. If you can jump in the pool exactly like you are and
you don't come out looking better than you looked before going in the pool -
then that's not a good look.Any woman that uses brown gel to set down her baby hair is not poppin'
So lemme get this straight, Young Berg: you don't date women who aren't light-skinned with 'good hair'. That's fine if you are a self-admitted racist and have that 'preference'... I prefer not to buy music from artists who are racist and/or demean black women. So this guy will never get any "business", sexually or financially, from me, even if I did pass the 'pool test'. Because even though Young Berg dates light-skinned women, he objectifies them just as he does dark-skinned sistas. It doesn't matter what your intellect, morals or values are, off jump your hair looks messed up when it gets wet so you get the axe.
Why are we still dealing with ridiculousness like this in 2008? Normally I would just ignore statements like this, but I'm tired of us constantly being compared to each other based on skin tone and the properties of our hair.. I'm tired of us being compared to others based on what the media values at any given time. We are all unique, beautiful creatures whose capabilities, charm and fortitude make us some of the most beautiful women in the world. And we should know that with every ounce of our beings. Instead of supporting men that only have our ancestral background in common, and could care less about black women, let's let our collective voices be heard in the manner that matters to them most - in our withdrawal of financial support. Let's show the Young Bergs of the world that colorism and objectification of women aren't "poppin".
What Makes A Great Girlfriend?
I have a confession to make. As a single man, playing the field can be more fun than watching Aretha Franklin try to see her feet (It’s been a while.) The unbalanced male-to-female ratio plays a huge role in that mindset. But as maturity sets in, real men begin to realize that while fooling around is cool, nothing can surpass the joys of being in a serious relationship.
Let me rephrase that.
Nothing can surpass the joys of being in a serious relationship with a great girlfriend. So I began to wonder … exactly what is it that makes someone a great girlfriend?
Besides possessing the obvious attributes of being faithful and honest, I’ve come up with 5 Key Traits Of A Great Girlfriend.
#1- She’s Independent
This trait gets a tremendous amount of negative publicity from some single women. Apparently there’s a widespread misconception that most men don’t want an independent woman. Well that’s more off base than the time Jessica Simpson thought The Gap Band was an alternative to getting braces.
A real man appreciates when his girlfriend has her own personality and opinions, and can stand on her own both financially and emotionally. That’s a true turn-on, as the relationship begins to feel much more like an equal partnership.
(Note: Embrace your independence, but don’t use it as a badge of honor … that’s when it stops being a positive trait.)
#2- She’s Intelligent
Having someone that’s beautiful but dumb gets old about as fast as Samuel L. Jackson yelling in all of his movies. That’s why it’s great to have a girlfriend that can meet you on an intellectual level. Her wit and intellect keep you on your toes, and deepens your attraction past the physical realm … making it another great quality for a girlfriend.
#3- She Allows You To Be A Man
A great girlfriend understands that men and women are intrinsically different, and allows you to be who you are…a man. Which means she won’t force you to start using pink and lavender toilet tissue, or sit through a “Desperate Housewives” marathon. A great girlfriend also doesn’t get bent out of shape when her man tries to do “guy things” like watch the game or occasionally hang out with his friends.
#4- She Loves You
On the surface, such a trait would seem like a given. But allow me to dig even deeper than Michael Jackson’s pile of unpaid bills. A great girlfriend loves her man…flaws and all. To her, it’s okay that he isn’t the best dresser, or that his jokes fall flatter than Arsenio Hall’s career. She just loves him for him, and takes the time to show him how much she appreciates him each day.
#5- She Makes You Strive To Better Yourself
This may be my favorite one of all. A great girlfriend inspires you to improve yourself without even saying anything. Just being around her makes you want to better yourself. Suddenly you begin to get your finances in order, you start treating people better … you even clip your toenails on a consistent basis. And that’s all because of your great girlfriend. She just has that kind of effect on you.
The Fly Guy Moral: So there’s my list. If you’re current girlfriend possesses those traits, then I’d say you were in great shape. If she doesn’t…well, I’ll keep you in my prayers.
**To read more from The Fly Guy, visit The Fly Guy Chronicles
I don’t have much planned for the 4th of July. I’m not a fireworks fan, so I won’t be on the National Mall with other DC area residents (and tourists in town for the holiday). I will definitely visit a few friends for some holiday barbeque. I also want to post some new tee designs to the Black Girl Tees store. Mostly, I’m looking forward to a little R&R.
Wherever you are, and whatever you may do, enjoy your Independence Day!
I know how hard it is to be a black female in today's society. If you're a woman, you face racism and sexism in order to get ahead in your career; dismal statistics abound regarding your love life and likelihood to marry; images surrounding you suggest that your beauty is not revered; add to that the stress of being an entrepreneur, wife, mother, sister or daughter. Some of you throw social organizations, church and volunteering into the mix. No wonder that a sistah is sometimes tired!
The situation for our girls is just as bleak. They're growing up in an era where music videos and big budget films help them to assign their self-worth. They must aim high in school, in sports, and in life in ways that the information age has made decidedly different than our upbringings. On top of that, they may see the struggles of their mother and big sisters and come to feel that this is also their legacy.
I am like you. I know what it is to carry around these burdens daily. I also feel the sting of sometimes feeling 'not thin enough', not privileged enough or just plain not enough. One thing that we do have, however, is each other.
This is a place for us. Sure, there are other blogs that address the black female experience in America. But what's one more voice on our side? There can never be too many avenues of support for our dreams, our efforts and our future. That's what this blog is all about. Together, let's step outside of the constraints that mainstream society has placed on us, and highlight our own beauty, accomplishments, intellect and vision. After all, if we don't do it, it will never get done.
